Taking responsibility for our hair

Hi all

This was a post I submitted to the Black Girl Long Hair website some time ago ( and I’ve since updated it and thought to repost it here. So here goes.

I’ve been natural now for over 3 years – I BC-ed in January 2010. This is my second and final time going natural. My hair is probably of 4b/c textureand I love it, absolutely love it! I didn’t always but the further I get into my journey, the love just grows daily. When I style my hair, people ask me “How did you get your hair like that?” and “I didn’t know you would be able to do that with your type of hair”. Sometimes it hurts when people close to me make offensive remarks about my hair (like “When are you going to get your hair done?”) but I have to remember that in a way I’m a bit of a revolutionary. There are not that many people that wear their hair natural! And if you do, its because you’re mixed race and even then, a weave or a relaxer is preferable. I am just expressing my personal observations but I’m glad to report that since the original posting of this article, I’ve met a whole lot more naturals so yay!

The point of my message is that people need to start taking responsibility for their hair. I’ve realised that a lot of black women just don’t know how to do their own hair, relaxed, natural, texturised whatever, no-one knows. Aside from the people who say they would go natural but for the “bad or “difficult” texture they would have if they did, you also have those who say that they would go natural but they don’t know a stylist that can do their hair. Or worse, people who have gone back to relaxers because either salon maintenance got too expensive (natural tax and all) or they were convinced by the hairdresser to get a relaxer or texturiser or something.

How hard is it to do your own hair? I’ve even seen blog posts where people have written to say that 4c texture is the most difficult. I’m not going to lie and say when I first went natural, it was a walk in the park, because it wasn’t. I’ve already shared on the first time I went natural, I wanted my hair to look like Kelis’ and when it didn’t, I succumbed the relaxer a year later in defeat. But I had false expectations of Grace . Now I’m loving the journey of learning new things about Grace . I have realised that my hair is never going to look like Kelis’ without some form of roller or twists or (God forbid!) a curly perm! lol But I’m learning what Grace can do naturally and with a bit of manipulation. I have to put in the time to learn my hair and though time is something that is quite precious to me , I put in the time anyway.

I wish people would stop moaning about their textures or the lack of stylists or whatever and just take the time to learn their hair and take responsibility for their own hair. Once we start doing that, the love will begin to develop and I honestly think we will be happier people. God didn’t make a mistake when he made me with my hair texture. That’s not to say that people who have relaxers or texturisers are rejecting God – no way! I’m just saying that I’ve wanted to be natural for a very long time and I’m not going to let society’s or my own ignorance in respect of my hair texture stop me from achieving my natural goal. I’ve had long healthy relaxed hair and I loved it. Now I’m looking forward to living the rest of my life with long healthy natural hair. (I like long hair, sue me!)

Having said that, all chemical processes such as relaxers, perms, highlights, dye jobs etc should be undertaken by a licensed stylist unless you are completely sure you know what you’re doing. I’m not advocating dallying with dangerous chemicals just to prove you do your own hair!

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Bids x


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